The not so romantic, romantic truth about marriage


Ok, so you want the truth? Relationships are hard, marriage is hard and it’s not cute.
Some where between the excitement of that first date, palms sweating, I hope he kisses me first kiss, the promise of “I do’s”, and the gift of babies being born the music fades, the lights come on and the excitement slowly slips away.

When we first stared dating we couldn’t get enough of one another, we would talk all day, make out all night, and wake up holding each other.  Now, we would both agree that the best money we ever spent was on a king size bed. We can sleep without even having to touch each other, it’s amazing!

And it’s so strange to me how that works.  Here is this man I loved from the moment I met him, (seriously though, my first thought when I was introduced to him was, “I’m going to marry him” (my second was, “damn it, I wish I could meet him in like 3 years because I’ve still got a lot of wild left in me”, but hey, I digress)) and now I want to reach across the table and strangle him because I can’t stand the sound of him chewing his food.

But I have come to realize that’s all okay.  It’s okay because as much as I hate that he leaves three shirts tucked inside one another when he throws them into the laundry for me to take care of or that he never turns off a damn light, and so help me God there are always drops of pee at the foot of the toilet bowl, I love how that man leaves me notes in the morning before he runs out the door for work.  I love that he never takes a sip of his drink at the end of the day without “cheers”-ing and kissing me first and my God, I love how that man can make me laugh, even when I want to hate him.

I didn’t marry him just for the good times when things are easy, and exciting and happy.  I married him because I love and want all of him. He’s the person I want to fight with at 1 o’clock in the morning because I want to know why he wouldn’t have taken me to his high school prom (this was a legit fight that I cried over ha).  He’s the person I want next me when we’re sitting on the beach with a cocktail in hand, he’s the person I want to wipe away my tears when times are hard and there are no words that can make it better, but together we can figure it out.


And that’s the not romantic truth.  Relationships are hard, they are messy and they are not actually all that romantic.  We traded in nights of kissing in the rain while Matt White plays a private concert just for us and a helicopter lands in the background to whisk us away (okay I may have stolen that last part from the Bachelor but you get the idea) for staying in, curled up on the couch in baggy sweats and my ex-boyfriends tshirt while burping garlic and shoving M&Ms in my mouth.  We yell and we fight (about the dumbest stuff) and it’s messy and we say things we don’t mean.

I have ugly cried, begged him to drive faster and get me home so I don’t shit my pants and gone from 0-100 because I didn’t eat all day and he dared to give me a time check and yet, he still loves me.  And despite the fact that the first sound I usually hear in the morning is him farting I still love him.  And we choose every day to love each other, over and over.  Inspite of all our flaws we choose each other and would again and again, and we’ll, that’s pretty damn romantic if you ask me.

Okay well I have to run because naturally I’m late.  We’re going out to dinner to celebrate our 6th anniversary and tonight, I  choose to love the sound of him chewing.